Health & Fitness
Short Story
Discover what a bit of Health and Fitness can do for you.
Health & Fitness
Bobby Heath and Matt Furness had been friends for longer than they could recall. Certainly, they had been close friends at primary school. And, as their mothers will tell you, the kids were taken to the local supermarket together for the weekly shop when they were no more than three years old.
The youngsters moved from primary to middle school, and the friendship continued – along with their developing passion for music. So, at the age of fifteen, it wasn’t a big surprise to anyone when they decided to form a rock band. Or should I say, a rock duo. Originally, they called themselves Heath & Furness. But, as Matt pointed out, this was rather boring; so why not change it to ‘Health & Fitness’? And then the name stuck.
Their music was, well, noisy. Lacking in basic things like melody, well-worked lyrics and harmony, they made up for this with decibel-crunching sound and raw energy. Matt played electric rhythm guitar, Bobby thumped the bass, and they both sang (‘screamed’ would be a better description) – sending the kids wild with emotion whenever Health & Fitness played on the school stage at the end of a school day.
Time seemed to pass quickly, weeks fading into months, and months into years. But for Bobby and Matt their thirst for music only became stronger. Both began writing their own songs, and even included some ballads in their repertoire. They were both seventeen now, and wanted to play where the grown-ups played, not just school performances. Matt’s dad helped them get a gig at a local venue, knowing the manager and pulling a few strings. The poster outside the local Arts Centre read:
‘HEALTH & FITNESS’
New local band
Framley Arts Centre
THIS FRIDAY!
The gig didn’t go quite as the duo expected. For one thing, many people thought they were going to a Health & Fitness workout demonstration on stage, and walked out after five minutes. Then Matt & Bobby had a lot of trouble with the PA and guitar amps, including squealing feedback and mics not working. They were used to everything being set up for them at school, but there was little help provided at the venue. Only a handful of young kids were left in the room at the end, and these were all schoolmates of Bobby & Matt. As ardent supporters of Health & Fitness, they clapped, jumped up and down, and smiled throughout.
“You guys were awesome!” one girl enthused!
“Yeah man, you’re the best!” a school-friend called Amos smiled.
“Sorry about the sound,” Matt apologized.
“Nah, don’t worry about it. But if you need any help, my bro can do that for you… he’s your man.”
“And I think you need to change your name,” the girl suggested.
“Toooo many people came here expecting a Gym experience!”
Matt looked at Bobby, who nodded. “Yeah, we definitely need to change that.”
*
During the next few weeks, the two friends spent all their free time working on new songs, and improving their performance skills. They’d been listening to lots of different types of music by all the bands they liked, and realised they needed to write better songs, and be more confident in their gigs. Having Amos’s brother Seth control the sound would be a great help too. Amos told them Seth was studying sound engineering at the local uni, and passed on Seth’s mobile number.
“So, what d’you guys call yourselves?” Seth asked one Saturday when he came round to Matt’s house for ‘a meeting’.
“Well, we used to call ourselves ‘Health & Fitness’, but that wasn’t very cool,” Bobby explained. “So Matt came up with a couple of other names…”
“Go on then… hit me,” Seth smiled. He loved hearing the names of new bands.
“We were thinking of ‘Band Substance’,” Matt said cautiously. He already had great respect for Seth, and was now feeling a little nervous about the new names, which had sounded really good yesterday.
“Ha ha! Man, that’s so funny! Are you guys serious?” They both nodded, meekly. “Well, it is a funny name, and I like it. But if I’m honest with you, you’re going to attract all the wrong sort of people to your gigs. What’s the other name?”
“Undercover Cops,” Bobby said, softly.
Seth laughed so much, he fell off his chair. “I love it! I truly love it man. And that would keep away all the wrong-sort of people who would’ve gone to see ‘Band Substance’! Hey, why not put the names together: ‘Band Substance and the Undercover Cops’?”
Bobby and Matt looked at each other. “Well, maybe…” Matt started.
“I’m just messing with you guys!” Seth smiled, standing up. “To be totally honest, I think you should just stick with ‘Health & Fitness”. They’re close to your actual names; and when people get to know you, no-one’ll think they’re going to a gym experience! Now let me hear you play.”
Seth sat, watched and listened as Matt and Bobby blasted out their latest rock songs, and sang their new ballads. At the end, he smiled and clapped enthusiastically.
“Wow! All I can say is wow! You’re going to be immense people… you’ve got the talent, the raw emotional power, and the songs. But don’t you think there’s something missing?”
Matt and Bobby totally knew what was missing.
“Oh, you mean the drums,” Bobby replied.
“Well, yeah! A rock band without a kit is a little strange, don’t you think?” They nodded.
“We did try to find a drummer at school… and one kid did give it a go one time,” Matt explained, “but it was shit… we sounded better without him.”
“No worries… I can help there. I’ve got a couple of friends who drum… one would be perfect for you. He just loves drumming… and he’ll like your type of music.”
“How much will he cost?” Bobby asked.
“Oh, you don’t have to pay him, just buy him a couple of drinks and he’ll be cool.”
Bob and Matt thanked their new-found friend.
“There’s just one other thing, and I’m going to be totally honest with you guys,” Seth added. “You’re completely wild and unbalanced in terms of sound, and we need to fix that. I’ve got some really good PA equipment, with EQ, compression, and all sorts of effects I can lend you, and I’m very happy to help out for you next gig…”
“Really?” Bobby replied, wide-eyed. “You’ll be our sound engineer?”
“Sure – I’d love to!”
“Then we have to pay you… you’ll be part of the band,” Bobby stated, and Matt agreed.
“Well, let’s put it this way. You can pay me as soon as you start making money at this thing. But that’s not gonna happen overnight, let’s be honest here! So, I’m happy to help out for nuthin’ till then. I’ll do it for the love of music – and hope that one day, yous are both gonna be famous!”
*
The following weekend, Seth brought his student friend and equipment to Matt’s parents’ garage. His parents had been very supportive of Matt’s musical adventure – provided it didn’t interfere with his schoolwork – so that was the agreement, and Matt kept to his side of the bargain. Bobby’s parents were a little more easy-going, and just wanted Bob to be happy in life. And if music and creativity did the trick, so be it.
They couple took to the drummer at once. A cheeky, funny nineteen-year-old really into all sorts of rock music, and a big fan of Queen, the Rolling Stones and Genesis. Not only that, he was instantly into the music Matt and Bobby played, naturally picking up their rhythms, feel and direction.
Seth recorded the practice session in the garage on his phone, and the couple were blown away when they heard the result. He’d made them sound so professional, yet not taken away their raw energetic edge. They were now very much looking forward to their next gig. This would be a performance at Framley University in two weeks’ time, all arranged by Seth. He said the students would love their sound, and he’d advertise the show around the campus as soon as he could. A couple of his friends would help too, with handing out flyers and general backstage stuff.
***
Matt and Bobby weren’t sure if their parents would want to come to a gig at the university, but thought they must invite them. To their surprise, they all said they ‘just had to go’, and would be there to support their kids. Matt’s younger brother, Sam, also really wanted to come. One day, he hoped to play in a band like his bro.
As Bobby and Matt stood in the dressing room, nervously getting ready for the performance – the biggest one of their lives so far – Matt put his arm around Bobby’s shoulders, seeing his friend look nervously into the mirror.
“You’ll be fine Bob,” he smiled. “We’ll just go out there and enjoy it… pretend it’s just another school gig.”
“Thanks Matt… I do feel very nervous!”
Matt looked squarely, lovingly at his lifelong friend, then smiled and kissed her on the lips. She returned the warm kiss and they hugged.
“I’ve always loved you Bob… d’you know that?”
“I wasn’t sure… but I know now Matt. I love you too,” she smiled.
“Come on then,” Matt grinned, “let’s show them what a bit of Health & Fitness can do for you!”
THE END.