Good evening, and a very warm welcome to all our viewers around the World. My name is Griff Smith.

We’ve had an amazing response to our first, four-part interview with Chestnut, the speaking horse, and an unbelievable number of people have sent in questions they’d like to ask. Some of these, we’ll answer tonight whilst we’re on air. But before that, something you’re just not going to believe. Mr Ed aside, we all thought that Chestnut MUST be the only talking horse in the World… but we were wrong. Please put your hands together for a second miracle of nature: Apple Grey, Chestnut’s soulmate, is joining us tonight in the studio! 
[APPLAUSE]

It’s simply amazing to have you here Apple… welcome!

Thank you for having me!

First tell me… why did you want to learn our language – and how did you learn to speak it so quickly?

I was watching a recording of your first show with Chestnut, but I couldn’t understand a word! It was very frustrating… I really wanted to understand! Then he said, if I wanted to learn, he could teach me English!

That’s amazing! And how hard was that?

At first, it was just impossible! But as soon as Chestnut translated English words into Horse, I started to get it. Just individual words at first, then short sentences. What made it really hard was the huge number of words humans have! Our language is very simple – mostly a mixture of sounds and head and foot movements. Yours is full of SO many different words.

Well, I have to say, you’ve learned it amazingly well! Chestnut told me it took you three weeks to speak fluent English!

Yeah, sorry… I’m a slow learner…

You two are just out of this World!

Yes, of course… that’s what I told you last time, remember?

Okay, down to business. Let’s have a look at some of the questions sent after our first show with Chestnut, and maybe you could help Apple?

I’ll try!

Great! So, here’s our first question: ‘Do horses ever get married?’

Married?

Horses are not monogamous animals, and pairs of horses do not establish lifelong relationships. Our relationships are with our group, or herd as you call it. I know most humans live in small family groups, or sometimes alone. Our relationships are not like this. To separate a horse and make it live alone is one of the cruelest things you could do to it.

I’m sure a lot of our followers would be interested to hear that.
Regarding the intelligence level of animals, many people are still finding it difficult to accept that animals are more highly evolved than humans. How can we convince people of that? 

You can’t! And I wouldn’t even try. If people want to believe something, they will believe it whatever we or anyone else tells them.

Can you give an example then?

If you believe that the most advanced and evolved animals have the largest brain sizes, then you would have to say that whales and elephants must be more evolved that humans. If, on the other hand, you say that development is based on connectivity of the brain synapses with the brain, then most mammals are equal to humans.

However, if you think that evolution and intelligence are measured by how quickly a species can poison and destroy its environment; wipe out its cohabitants; and wage wars on each other, then Man is the clear winner… hands down.

Real Intelligence has nothing to do with passing IQ tests, gaining school certificates or university degrees. Real intelligence is about Caring for what you have. Before humans can call themselves Intelligent in any way, they need to understand why they are here on Earth. And from my observations, very, very few humans know this.

How about you Griff? Do you know why you are on Earth… do you know your purpose here? 

Well, I…. I really don’t know! I mean, I’m not particularly religious – but I do believe I should be a good person – loving to my family, and a good citizen. I should be a kind and considerate human being; and at the same time, I should inform and educate people through my work.

Well, that’s all good. But it’s not your main purpose for being on Earth.

It isn’t? 

Nay.

Could get a nose in front here? Is that the right thing to say?

It sounds okay for a horse; but humans would normally say, “can I butt in here?”

Oh, ‘butt’ … like a goat!

Right!

You two are amazing! What did you want to say Apple?

Since learning to speak English, it’s totally changed my perception of humans…

In what way?

Well, humans and horses seem to have totally different outlooks on life. The things that are very important to us, don’t seem to matter to humans at all… and the other way around.

Can you give me an example?

Okay. The number one priority for us is putting our output in the ground… I think you call it shit, right? From talking to Chestnut, I know that some horses have given up doing this because they live with humans, often in places you call stables, and it’s difficult to do it there. But we never forget that we should do it… we know it’s our raison d’être.

What! You’re speaking French now?

Oh, Chestnut taught me a few words!

Humans, though, don’t even talk about doing it – planting their shit, I mean. From what Chestnut told me, our ancestors came to Earth to help them fertilize and nourish the soil; but after all this time, humans seem to have totally given up on it. I’ve heard people talking a lot about food and cooking, but no-one talks shit! 

Oh, I know several people who talk a load of shit – all the time!

Just ignore him Apple… you’re doing great.

Sorry Apple… please continue.

Well, I was just so surprised. I thought human beings were a highly developed, intelligent race – but now I’ve changed my mind. I mean, what’s the point of eating if you’re just going to wash your output, your soil fertilizer, down the toilet!

I think you’ll find that you die if you don’t eat Apple! And surely the main reason for eating is to give you energy and maintain your body…

NO! Definitely not! 

So, you’re saying what? The main reason for eating food is to generate shit – what you call output – just so you can fertilize the soil?

Now you’ve got it! If humans had been doing that for the last two thousand years, we could have gone home long ago! Of course, our organs do need some sustenance, which they take from whatever we eat. So, if you do stop eating for a long time, your organs will shrivel and malfunction. And yes, you will die eventually. But the main reason for consuming food is to produce output fertilizer for the land.

Alright… I’m hearing you. I want to be as open-minded as possible here. I remember you telling me that fertilizing the soil was the reason you came to Earth in the first place. I accept that some animal dung is really good for the soil – and I know that some people put horse manure on their roses. But human shit, or ‘output’ as you call it, is just a waste product… it’s no good for the land!

No! Wrong again! Seriously, do humans really believe they are the most intelligent life-form on this planet Griff? At the moment, I have to say you’re making them sound like the dumbest!

Okay, okay! I think we need to cool down here and take a break! We’ll be back with the next installment of their fascinating interview with Chestnut and Apple very soon – don’t go away!

Welcome back everyone! Chestnut, we’ve had a lot of questions about the future of our planet. With rising sea levels, pollution – and now Covid-19 and riots around the World – things are looking rather grim. What can we expect in the coming years?

I’d like to tell you that the future is bright and rosy, with much to look forward to. And, in one sense, that’s how it could be. But before we get there, some, err, ‘adjustments’ need to be made.

‘Adjustments’?

Yes. You see, the current generation has inherited what the previous generations have left them. Imagine life for young children growing up in cities like Hiroshima, Nagasaki or Dresden during and after World War Two. They came into a world not of their own making, yet had to live through the consequences.

Today your young people are faced with a polluted and poisoned world, with rising sea levels, rampant viruses, and eroded soils that cannot produce the wholesome food it once did. And none of this was caused by their generation.  If you purchased a derelict farm, with neglected land and ram-shackled buildings on the point of collapse… what would you do? 

Well, it sounds like I’d bought a bit of a donkey! Oh, no offence… sorry! I love donkeys. Anyway, given the fact that the farm is now mine, I’d knock down the old buildings, and construct new ones. The I’d bring in big machinery to turn over the soil, get plenty of good quality fertilizer in, and make a fresh start.

Right! I think that’s what most people would. And in a sense, that’s what is going to happen to the Earth. The soil will not support you for much longer, and big upheavals will be needed to give you a fresh start.

Big upheavals? What sort of upheavals? You don’t really think that a ‘Sixth Mass Extinction’ is going to happen, do you? I mean, that crazy Extinction Rebellion lot can’t be right…

Certainly, they could be right… if nothing is done to change things. It’s really up to you humans to make sure your leaders lead you in the right direction. 

Okay, thanks for that Chestnut.
On a different topic, we’ve had a few listeners contact us about you both. You seem like a really nice couple, and people are wondering if you’ll stay together?

I think she’s saddled with me for the rest of her life!

Ha-ha! But you said horses are not monogamous, so you’ll never have the sort of relationship that humans have.

Right… certainly not like human families. Like I said, the herd comes first and that’s where our first duty lies.

Apple – are you planning to have any children… I mean, offspring, foals?

Horses don’t plan things like this. It’s all natural, and will happen at the right time. You might not have noticed, but horses do not use contraceptives! 

Well, I must admit I hadn’t even considered that! If you could describe humans in five words, Apple, what would those words be? 

Ermm… lonely, lost, kind (sometimes), misguided, arrogant… and with blinkered vision. But it does depend on which humans we were to describe… there are many different types.

Do you think we can get out of this mess – this global mess – we’ve created for ourselves?

Chestnut told me a saying that humans have: ‘Where there’s a will, there’s a way’. I thing that’s the answer to your question. 

Apple’s right – it’s really in human’s own hands. I think there’s still a chance to change things, but it depends how badly you want to make that change. For sure, there’s nothing we horses do can do to help now, and the most likely scenario is a completely fresh start for human beings.

In what way?

In the same way as has happened many times before in your history. Lands disappearing below the seas, whilst new lands rise from the oceans. If you think about it, the most fertile land you have – and the most unpolluted – is either covered by ice or under water. In a way, it’s been protected from your generation, and those before you, and is waiting for a new generation in the future – one that will care about the Earth.

When will these changes happen… the upheavals and everything?

It’s already started. The sea levels are rising, and the arctic ice is melting. And earthquakes occur on a daily basis around the Earth.

I have some questions that our listeners have sent in, if that’s okay for you both?

Certainly.

Okay. The first is for Apple from Emma Banks of West Riding, Yorkshire. She says, ‘Will you follow in Chestnut’s horseshoes and go to University?’

Oh, probably not! Chestnut is a very special horse, and he did this to prove a point to humans. There is no need for me to do this.

Thank you for that, Apple. Now a question for Chestnut from Mr Trump of Washington, Tyne & Wear, England. Will you ever run for President?

Ha-ha! Well, as you know, I love running… but being President is a crazy idea – and I’m not a crazy horse! 

But you know, in that position, you might be able to make some of the changes we desperately need on this planet.

This is Man’s world, not ours. It is up to the human elected leaders to make the right decisions, not animals. But I will suggest one thing…

Yes?

Form a One World Government, with representatives taken from every country, with their number in proportion to the population sizes of each country. That is the fair and sensible way.

And you think that could fix our problems?

It could do – if people really want to make it work. But don’t just take my word for it… talk to Neale Donald Walsch. He wrote about this more than twenty-five years ago.

What, you mean the guy who wrote those ‘Conversations with God’ books?

Yes, that’s the one.

But that was just made up… it was a fairy story! A stunt to sell books!

Really? And what are people going to think about your show with two talking horses? Just a stunt to get listeners interested?

Okay, fair point. So, if we were going to choose a leader for this One World Government, who would that be?

That is not for us to decide; it is for the leaders of your governments to choose the right person. But if it was my choice, it would be the one you call ‘Greta Thunberg’.

Yes, I concur. Her mind has not been polluted and diverted like many other human’s have, and she has a strong determination to save this planet before you all destroy it completely.

Greta Thunberg? You must be kidding me! She’s just a child… and a precocious one at that! Hey, where are you going? Chestnut, Apple… you can’t just leave like this… we’ve got a show to finish! Come on guys… I was just playing devil’s advocate!

Sorry folks, the studio door is open, and the horses have bolted. We’ll be back real soon – I promise! 

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! That was totally out of order… of course we should put our trust in the youth of this World – they are our future. Very glad to know you two didn’t take offence…

Well, we did jump over a couple of fences; but getting angry is not our way…

Unless it’s necessary.

Yes, unless we need to be angry.

Okay, I’m glad we can continue!
Now we were talking about Greta Thunberg, and I have to admit that if anyone is going to lead the youth of this World, she’s the one to do it – particularly in this environmentally-challenged World in which we find ourselves… 

You didn’t find yourselves in this damaged World, Griff… you caused it!

Ah, yes… you’re right. Sorry again…

So many sorrys! Horses never say sorry!

They don’t?

No! Saying sorry is pointless. It’s a get out – a way of changing your face, but not your actions, or the thoughts behind the actions.

So, what do you do?

We make sure we never make the same mistake again.

Well, I have to say, that’s so much better!

Okay, now we’ve had some questions from listeners, as I said, and the first is from Mike Matisse of West Yorkshire. He says: ‘Do horses take any sort of medicines when they are ill? Do they go to the Horse doctor?’ 

Good question. Would you like to answer this one Apple?

Sure. When we feel ill, we nearly always lie down – just as you do if you feel sick. If we need to eat anything, we usually have alfalfa hay, or something similar, mixed with some grains. But other times, we’ll want to eat carrots or apples. It just depends on our feeling when we’re sick. I think horses are much more in tune with their bodies than humans, and instinctively know the right thing to eat if we feel unwell. We never take medicines like you do – unless humans force us. 

Okay, good explanation! Now a question from June Chestnut of Rochester… 

Chestnut?

Yes! Now there’s a coincidence! She asks if life evolved on your home planet by chance, just like it did on Earth.

I see. Well, as far as we know, life never evolves by chance in any part of the Cosmos, including where humans live – and our home planet. Life is created by the Soul, which manipulates dross substances… processing them, then adding a part of its own energy and intelligence to bring the dross to life. 

‘Dross substances’?

Yes. The Cosmos is full of what we call ‘dross’. It’s the most basic form of matter, and totally useless in that form. You could say, it’s a waste of space! It’s the purpose of any intelligent life form to clear away the dross by processing it into something useful. You can think of it like all the waste plastic humans have created, and is now strangling and polluting the Earth. It’s useless as it is, but could be made into something useful by applying some time and energy to it.

And Care!

Yes! Do not forget Caring… that is essential.

And don’t we know it!
Why haven’t our scientists discovered this ‘dross’ within the Universe?

They just don’t recognize it for what it is. But they don’t have to look far: we’re surrounded by dross! The dross is filtered by the Sun and rains down on the Earth every moment of every day. It’s your job to process that dross, and turn it into something useful, using your human bodies.

How can we do that?

You just eat it!

Eat it?

Yes! The dross is attached to everything you eat – all your food. Vegetables, grains, fruit and fish. All you need to do is eat your fill of these things, and then place your Output, your shit, in the ground for the next stage of its processing.

Why haven’t I heard this before?

I’ve been telling you this ever since you invited me onto your show! Help the Soul of your Universe to process dross by eating your fill of food from the land and sea, then output the processed food into the soil. What’s so difficult about that? Flushing it into the sea, or adding chemicals to it is going to ruin its value. 

I’m flabbergasted! My flabber has never been so gasted! Okay, I’ve got a handle on the environmental angle… but the whole Soul thing…. Well, let just leave it there for now!

Thank you Chestnut and Apple for enlightening and illuminating us once again with your way of looking at us humans and our Earth. At one time, I wondered what it would be like if animals could understand what we humans were saying, and were able to reply. Now we know, and it isn’t easy to take! 

This is Griff Smith signing off… and looking forward to one more interview with the enigmatic Chestnut and Apple in our next show… see you then!